Is encouraging our children through extrinsic motivation damaging them in later life?!?

I got into a heated debate yesterday with a complete stranger regarding the use of money to reward GCSE grades. The post involved a lady questioning whether rewarding her child with a certain amount per grade was ‘the done thing’ now. This said case involved providing £50 for every B grade, £75 for every A and £100 for every A*.

In my opinion I don’t have a problem with this (although the amounts could be altered!).

When I was at secondary school I lacked confidence in my own ability. I doubted myself with every answer. I risked not getting any decent grades due to my nervousness and lack of confidence. I had no end of support from my parents and family members who sat for hours going through question after question but it just wasn’t enough.

My grandparents saw that I was struggling and did just this. They promised a certain amount of money per grade. When they first said it, I thought I wouldn’t earn a lot at all (in comes the self doubt) however it somehow spurred me to try harder. Luckily for me (and unluckily for my Grandparents!) I managed to get 1 A, 5 Bs and 5 Cs.

When it came to responses to this post I was shocked with how many negative responses there was to this method. It was suggested that parents who do this are not teaching their child about self worth and the importance or working hard for working hard sake. There were suggestions that children don’t need their parents’ money but time and support. Now this struck a cord with me and for some reason I took it quiet personally. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but when someone is so aggressive in their responses and is presumptuous about my situation it gets my back up. My argument is that it is surely whatever works best for each individual. Whether it be a cash reward, or a trip somewhere or clothes or a new computer. If a parent feels that that is needed to push their child to aid them in achieving their best, surely this is a positive?!?

For years extrinsic motivation has been used, especially in schools to motivate and encourage children. From simple sticker charts for behaviour, or a treat for 100% attendance or marbles in a sticker jar. Schools and teachers rely on these methods everyday and it has now fed into how parents discipline and encourage their children at home. Extrinsic motivation can be highly beneficial as it can induce participation and interest where, in some cases, it may be lacking. It is a great tool at feeding back to the child, visually, that they are on the right path.

To every argument their is two sides. The negative impact of Extrinsic motivation can lead to adults diminishing a child’s Intrinsic motivation (where a child will engage in a behaviour because it is personally rewarding rather than encouraged). There have been studies where children who we’re offered extrinsic motivation for something they were already interested in, actually loose interest and it therefore has a negative impact.

After giving my examples of this motivation working with young children it was suggested that I am not providing and teaching children to strive for things later on in life. However don’t we as adults still work with extrinsic motivation in our jobs now?!? We work towards bonuses, employee of the month awards, benefit packages and countless others! Surely this is the same as rewarding (and encouraging) a teenager to strive towards something?

All in all there needs to be a balance. If parents/ teachers are offering rewards that aren’t relevant or that are too frequent then obviously this will have a negative impact. But if extrinsic motivation is used well it can have a massive impact on a child’s outlook and level of success. I have learnt first hand from how my grandparents pushed me through my GCSEs and I will continue to use stickers and marbles with my children and any children I teach in the future .

It is always important to remember that every child is different and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another but it’s what works best for that child and (let’s face it) the parent (who is probably at their Witts end trying to get their child to revise or apply themselves!)